“Best keep yourself clean and bright, you are the window through which they see the world.”

                                                                            – George Bernard Shaw

Face it – books, articles, even specially designed workshops are not guaranteed to help they become their authentic self. Especially in this increasingly diverse society, individuals struggle with authenticity. They make frequent and radical changes in their professional and personal life. It often seems as if we have to choose between what is expected—and therefore effective—and what feels authentic.

At every turn when they ask themselves “Am I being my true self?” their answer would probably still be ‘yes’. This is because their mind subconsciously has accepted the person they’re portraying, an equally ‘true self’. Only in the most extreme cases, will they feel that they’re doing something “wrong”, or something they wouldn’t normally do. There are ways to identify if someone is struggling with being authentic:

1. They desire to be alone more often. If they refuse to be in the presence of other people, then they might subconsciously be afraid of being accepted by them. The longer they avoid  other people, the more they’ll hide their  true self when they are with them.

2. Basic things become way harder. How long does it take them to dress? Are they doing it to look good for themselves, their  partner or for people that they don’t know? Simple daily decisions suddenly are given too much thought because of a subconscious fear of not being accepted.

3. No real meaningful/true relationships. Yes, they have friends and coworkers that they enjoy having around, but it always feels like there’s something missing. That sort of disconnection is stopping they of fully understanding one another.

4. You’re obsessed with other people’s opinions.  This is the biggest sign that they’re not trusting their true self. The solution is to start listening to their opinion more and caring less about others. Right now they’re trusting their opinion more than they do their own.

Studies have shown that only 18% of people are confident enough to tell their boss their true opinion, and less than half trusts that the business that they work for is doing the right thing? When in doubt; Speak up! 

Traciana Graves, CEO of The Visionary Leader Network, dedicates this vlog to encourage professionals and those in the corporate community to embrace all their identities and everything that makes them who they are. Once there is peace in mind and body and an unapologetic acceptance of the self, leaders can truly become visionary and the best that they can possibly be.